Lately I have been thinking more about the concept of identity and what it means to my. Through therapy I have realized that I never put much thought into my identity. I acted the way I wanted and in whatever way suited my mood at the time. I placed too much of my emotions on how other people saw me. I dealt with difficult situations in the least-awkward way possible for myself. 

I think identity is a fluid concept that can change many times throughout our lives. The newest facet of my identity is wife, and while it is usually new and wonderful it is also hard and downright challenging sometimes too. Maybe in the future some little thing will call me mother, and I will have another part to my identity. 

Part of my struggle now is to repair past hurts and form an identity that is all mine. I think that means realizing what matters to me, how I want to interact with people, the person that I want to be, and the things I want to be important in my life. I feel most of my life things have just happened to me. There is little in my life I feel I have really struggled and worked hard for, besides my relationship with Tim. 

This journey through therapy is a struggle and it's work. Most weeks it is exhausting. But at the same time I feel fulfilled because I finally feel that I am fighting for something in my life. I am fighting for me. 

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